It's Hard Sometimes...

It should be a big idyllic dream shouldn't it?

This whole running your own business and working for your self malarkey.

I mean if you write it down on paper it sounds like the bees knees:

1. You work your own hours, hours that you set

2. You spend your time designing items you want to see for sale.

3. You dream your dreams and make steps towards creating them.

It's not an exhaustive list but i think that those three points form the foundations (for me anyway). Except I've been finding it a little difficult of late...and it seems that those three little points up there spend the majority of their time morphing into these three (not so little to me) points...

1. You sit in your work room for hours procrastinating about everything...or you go for a coffee that takes up three hours of your day...or you come up with any excuse to not be at home alone sewing stock.

2. You spend hours of your time doubting the designs you have made...wondering whats the point in making 5cm sized plush toy, that they are rubbish anyway, no matter how long your stare at them. You think about it soo much that your head buzzes and feels like it is going to explode.

3.  You take steps that you are terrified will lead you to fall, steps that will fail and leave you with nothing apart from a train wreck of broken hopes.

I'll admit it...it sounds like im being dramatic, and that i should suck it up and get on with it, That everyone feels like this, and that it is the way that you deal with these pesky things that will lead you to triumph, but its hard when your at home sat at your work table with just a lap top and ten half finished wooden spoons (that's right...wooden spoons.)

Stuffednonsense is facing some insanely big changes at the moment...all of them have the potential to be truly incredible...all of them are terrifying, and in due course you will be told about them but not right now, now is the time for a pathetic 'i feel sorry for myself' post. 

I suppose we're just going to have to hold on tight and go with it...like when your on a roller coaster and its half way up the super big dip and the tracks are doing that 'clack clack clack' sound that they do that makes you sooo terrified, and you realise that your stuck on the ride until the end, and that to get to the end you have to do the scary bits with all the loop the loops and massive dips and huge stomach churning drops; and then you figure out that you might as well roll with it seeing as your stuck on it and you let go of the hand rail and put your hands up in the air and try your hardest to enjoy it...even though your bloody terrified.

That's it, i have no pictures to show you, and i apologize for a thoroughly depressing read, but sometimes you just have to put it out there.

xxx